This is a personal blog.....I'm not really sure what I will be posting on here.
All I know is that it will be honest. I'm not really wanting others to read this....so please do not think that I want advice. I don't. I am just getting this out there because I'm at a place in my life that I want to crawl under a rock and hide from the rest of the world. I don't like some of the choices I've made. I don't like me...
Right now I would like to die. Not in the suicidal way.....I just want this crap of a life over.
I have plenty of things to be thankful for. A beautiful little boy whom I love with all my heart. A wonderful husband who puts up with my selfish ways, two dogs that are spoiled and loved and a great Sister.
What is missing?...
That's what I'm going to find out...
In public, you'd never know that I have this war raging inside of me. You would never know that I was so miserable that all I want to do is lock myself in a bathroom and hide from the world. I think that if I'm in a room with the lock on it that I can stop the world from finding out just how much of a looser I really am. But honestly....I'm delaying it. I don't know why my husband doesn't call me on this. He should. He's just letting me be. Why? Does he not love me enough to see what I'm doing to myself? Or does he think it will go away if he doesn't acknowledge it? That's probably it.
Raw...
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